What Did I Do?!

We have all had that moment. Of course this could apply to just about any situation but this time I'm talking about a moment that pretty much every woman has had at one time or another. Don't try to deny it - we have all been there! And once again I am there again (oh yeah this definitely is the first time!)

Yes, that's right. Chop. Chop. There went my hair.

On the first of August, I cut my hair. Don't hear me wrong: I CUT my hair. Not a trim. Not layers. I completely and totally cut it. [Just to clear - I did actually do the cutting, just made the decision and actually followed through with it!] 

I have waited to write about it or really even show my haircut until now because I went back and forth on if I liked it for a long time. I didn't want to prematurely say I liked it [or hated it] until I had a good amount of time to decide. Well, it's been just about two weeks and have made my decision. 

Drum roll. (Although you readers are pretty smart and probably already know the answer...)

Not digging the hair cut. 

Before I finally reveal my hair before and my hair now, let me just explain what was actually going on in my head (trust me, it can get confusing)...

I will be the first to admit that I have no idea what to do when it comes to hair. My hair is thin and extremely fine. It breaks easily. I'm pretty sure it only got worse with pregnancy - the opposite of what I was hoping for. After having Addie, my hair started falling out (which in case you didn't know, hair loss often happens post-baby - kind of looks like chewbacca grooms daily in the bathroom - yuck!). I hardly got it cut despite the fact that it seriously needed it. I probably cut it a total of two times between  this last hair cut and October when she was born, although to be fair I probably hadn't got my hair cut even longer before she was born. It had probably been another four or five months before she was even born since I had gotten my hair taken care of. Maybe not so healthy on the already sad and lifeless hair. 

I mostly just wore my hair in a ponytail. A has been grabbing my hair like crazy which hurts pretty bad and then those little fingers get tangled, just not so good all around. So I hardly did anything with my long hair and was feeling run down. And on the off chance that I actually did wear my hair down, I was just too exhausted to actually do anything with it other than let it air dry or on the rare occasion just blow dry it. Then I wouldn't want to spend time actually doing anything with it because I was sure there was other things I could be doing instead of my hair that was just going to end up in a ponytail at the end of the day anyway. 

So I started searching pinterest (How I hate you Pinterest!), looking for ideas. I was in desperate need of a hair make over. I wasn't feeling so good about myself. Actually I wasn't even feeling like myself. I was feeling like I never had time to do my hair. I was frustrated. And somehow I got it in my head that cutting my hair would help. I usually just dye my hair to for a change so why not cut it. Just get a whole new hair cut. Looking back, not such a good line of thinking. Of course I didn't know then what I know now which is that I feel even less like myself than before. 

And unluckily for me, I found one I liked.:

via

The problem is that hair never really ends up looking like that every day no matter how hard you try. And if I didn't want to try before, why in the world would I want to put so much effort in now? I have had a lot of "seriously what were you thinking dummy?!" moment since I cut my hair. 

So I guess the one thing I can do it now show you my own pictures. 

Before

And now

Granted my hair is up in this picture, but you can kind of get it. I lost quite a bit of length. And I know, it's not bad. The hubs has told me repeatedly that it's really not as bad as I think and he thinks it looks good. But I just can't be convinced. 

I miss my long hair. I miss being able to put it all behind my ears without repeatedly having to move it out of my face. I miss being able to put it up in a bun or a side ponytail or pull it back in my twists without using a thousand bobby pins. 

So lesson learned I guess. Next time I get it in my head that I want to cut my hair, I hope I remember this moment and how I'm feeling. And decide against it. I should have just gone for layers. Plus, I should have known this would be a bad idea when I was questioning my decision as I was actually driving to get it cut. That should have been my sign right away. 

Last parting thoughts about cutting my hair. Part of the reason I had decided to cut my hair was because I didn't want to just wear it in a ponytail every day. Well, in an oddly funny turn, the majority of the days since getting it cut I have in fact wore it in a ponytail. How's that for hair karma?!