A Pregnancy Story: How This One is Different

I do my best to not compare my pregnancies. Every pregnancy is so different. I have definitely experienced that this time around. Of course there are some ways that they are a lot of alike because a pregnancy is a pregnancy.

The first trimester definitely started out similar. I was more scared than I ever was with Addison

because my past history of miscarriages. But every day we got a little farther and the worry started to melt away. Not to mention the morning sickness kicked in and it just confirmed that I was still pregnant every day. At first I truly thought the morning sickness was worse than it was when I was pregnant with Addison. With her, I got sick once a day in the morning then I was fine the rest of the day. This time I felt sick all day and often got sick more than once. But unlike with her I would have days when I didn't feel or get sick at all.

I was definitely more hormonal and exhausted this time around. A lot of that I attributed to having a toddler around the house which is often draining. It's hard to tell if that's all it was or if also had to do with the fact that I'm older than I was when I was pregnant with Addison or something else all together.

The biggest difference definitely came in the second trimester. With Addison my morning sickness continued right up to my third trimester but a few weeks into my second trimester I stopped getting sick. The only time I would get sick was usually food related where I ate something that was heavy on the carbs or if it was the first day of the new week. My doctor said that is fairly common because of the changed hormones. It wasn't fun but definitely manageable. Because I wasn't getting sick every day like I did with Addison, I started putting on weight. I was hungry all the time and my bump popped sooner.

I had a lot more aversions with Addison because I just didn't want to eat thanks to getting sick all the time. But this time I have had a lot more cravings. There have been a few aversions but nothing like the first time around. I have been more open to food in general and have just wanted to eat.

When I was pregnant with Addison I was a first-time mom and terrified. I read the books and blogs. I took classes. I registered. I had baby showers. I did everything I was supposed to in order to be prepared. But I was still terrified. I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know what to do with this little baby once I got home. I didn't know what to expect from labor (even though I took the birthing class). I was overwhelmed pretty much all the time.

This time around I've done it all before. Of course we are having a little boy this time which means a couple of difference but mostly it's the same. A baby is a baby. It doesn't mean I'm not terrified. I figured it all out with Addison but I didn't have a three-year-old running around the house. This time I have no idea how to handle it all. I have a new set of worries. But I also know that just like before I'll figure it all out again. From what I remember, kids are pretty forgiving.

This pregnancy has felt like it has flown by faster than it did the first time. I think in some ways I

have been more appreciative of this pregnancy than I was the first time. With Addison we got pregnant so fast that it was pretty overwhelming from the start. This time we tried for a long time and went through three miscarriages and even told that IVF might be our only option before we got pregnant. You have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle. With our three consecutive miscarriages we had a 60% of miscarrying again. Even though we still had to use medicine to get pregnant, we know how much of a miracle baby this is. We know how blessed we are. I definitely have a new respect for those that try for some long and the pain of watching everyone else around you get pregnant. It was something I never thought about the first time. I never realized how truly blessed we were.

It's amazing how different pregnancies can be from one to the next. I have been okay with this one being so different. The pregnancy with Addison was hard on my body in different ways than it has been hard this time. Neither was has been better than the other. Quite frankly I'm a grouchy pregnant lady. I hate being pregnant but I know what a blessing it is. I know how lucky I am. And I know that it's all worth it because of the end result.