first month seemed horrible at the time but now I want nothing more than to go back to that first month. I'm in the last two weeks of the second month and I am terrified of the third month. I like to watch the next workout before I start it so I have an idea of what I'm supposed to be doing instead of blindly figuring it out while I'm actually doing it. I feel like I get a better workout that way. Well, I've been watching what's coming and I'm terrified.
Oh, I know I'll survive and I know that I'll feel so proud of myself but man, I'm fairly certain I'm not going to be able to move after. I'm on the the last two weeks of the second month and I am so sore. I kid you not. I feel like I can barely move.
But I have done way more than I ever thought I could do. I am so proud of myself.
When I started doing this program, I started this was a way to distract myself from my recent loss (read about it here). I wanted to start feeling better. I wanted to take charge of my body and start feeling like me again. So I decided I wouldn't take 'before' pictures. I wouldn't take measurements. I would just do this and try to start feeling better. But now I wish I had. I have been weighing myself and so far I have loss about 8 or so pounds. Maybe not noticeable to everyone else but to me I know. My pants are looser. I have also noticed muscles I never had before. And the best part is that I do feel better. I feel stronger. I feel more like me.
I, of course, hope we get pregnant soon and want that more than anything but I do want to finish this program. I want the satisfaction of knowing that I finished this thing I never thought I would be able to do. Whatever happens, of course, I'll be happy. But for now I continue getting my butt kicked six days a week. I continue sweating a ridiculous amount. I continue to lose the pounds and inches, gain the muscles, and feel awesome about myself.
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