Every Day Conversations: Part III

"I'm going to panda your face. Just as soon as I walk down the stairs slowly." (me before running and jumping on Rob, hitting him in the face with my shoulder accidentally.)

"Is panda another name for your shoulder?" (Rob)
"Yes."
He starts biting my shoulder in response. "Then I'm going to bite your panda."

"Are these clean or dirty?" (Rob asking as the dishwasher)
"Clean."
"Hmmm...."
"No. They're dirty. My brain's on fart mode."

"I decided I would be a horrible fire truck driver." (me)
Rob laughs. "Did you decide that while driving my car today? Because it's longer?"
"Nope. I decided it just now when I saw the fire truck was back in the station backed in. I was thinking that someone has to back it in there. Then I wondered if anyone ever backed into the building. Then I figured I definitely would. Also I hate driving in lots of traffic and going fast makes me nervous."

"I'm going to murder our daughter." (me frustrated after instead of sleeping Addie finds a noisy book to look at at 10:00 at night)
"Then you'll go to jail."
"I'll get better sleep in jail."
"I won't wait for you."
"Don't worry. I'll file for divorce."

"Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and I think I'm really tall."
(me)

"When Addie was a baby and I would spend all day looking at her, you would get home and I would realize how big your head is." (me)

"I changed my mind." (Rob)
"What was wrong with the one you had?"
"It was moldy."

"You know what makes me sad is that I did some work between this computer and the other one. And I think I lost it." (Rob)

"You know what makes me sad? Somewhere between now and five years ago I had some sanity. And I think I lost it."

"Don't throw that book at me! It's a classic!" (me)

Every Day Conversations: Part I -- Every Day Conversations: Part II