Off Limits

Have you ever noticed that there are things I never post about? Or about how I time my posts when I do talk about sensitive subjects? Probably not because why would you? Do people notice things that aren't there and never were? Or care about timing because all they want is to do some nice relaxing reading and maybe look at some cute kid pictures (which I have plenty of)?

But the thing is that there are things that are off limits to me. There are things I never post about and there is always a reason behind the timing of my more sensitive topics.

The number one thing that has been most important keeping off the blog is my relationship with my husband. Now I know you could argue that and say that every anniversary I post about my relationship. I have talked about how we met and our wedding and so go. But all fights and conversations we have (minus the funny ones, check out our Every Day Conversations here, here, and here) have no business on this blog for the world to see. I don't mind telling our story but what we argue about and what we say behind closed doors is for us. I personally feel that some of what is wrong with relationships these days is social media. Social media as a whole can be great but putting your relationship out here for the whole world to see is opening yourself to shaming and opinions and a boat load of other problems that can cause problems in your relationship. Of course that's just my opinion.

As for the times that I do write about our relationship or relate a funny story about the hubs, I ask him. And if he isn't comfortable with whatever it is then I have no problem not posting (that rarely happens by the way because I like to keep our marriage private and of course posting about anything relating to the Marines can be sensitive since there's a security thing to take into account, plus do I really want people to know that I'm alone here in the house with just my kid and my cat. Not so much). I have no idea who's reading my blog and I don't want to say something that could potentially embarrass him or even cause him problems in some way. I saw this saying once that said: "I wear his ring, not his rank" and it bothered me.  It's true I'm not a Captain in the Marines but he is. And because of that as his partner I should hold myself to a standard and show him respect by not saying (or doing) something that would embarrass him or that he would have to explain later. If he wasn't a Marine I would feel the same way. I feel that it's a way to show respect to him and to our marriage.

The other thing that I don't post is pictures of Addison in the bathtub or fully naked. This should need no explaining. It's sad to think that there are people out that that look for this kind of thing but there is and I hate the idea that my daughter's picture - no matter how cute - would be involved. Plus nothing on the Internet goes away and she may not be so crazy about this blog when she's a teenager.

Other than those things I try not to hold too much back. Just as it says above this is our beautiful mess. We are not always picture perfect. The house is messy most of the time and needs to be cleaned way more often than it does. Addison drives me crazy quite often - lately about 70% of the time. We have problems and heartaches just like anyone else. I don't want to just show the sunny side of ourselves. I want to show our lives - good and bad.

It was hard writing about all that Addison has been through and my miscarriages, but for me it was a way to deal. Most of the emotional posts are written as things are happening. But due to emotions running high there are things I write that never need to see the light of day. It might be that a sentence needs to be deleted or maybe the whole thing rewritten after I have had time to deal with those emotions and see things a bit more clearly. So often I don't post about those things until a month or more after the fact. I want to write clearly and help someone and maybe even help someone going through the same thing.

The thing is that I enjoy writing about our lives. I enjoy posting pictures and getting reactions from those who read my blog. I love hearing who reads it and how much they enjoy it. It really does mean a lot to me. But don't be expecting any of those things anytime soon. If you keep reading then I'll keep writing.

Sorry if you were hoping for some juicy news or gossip about my marriage it isn't going happen. Truth is we're pretty boring anyway and as for Addie, yes, she's just as cute in the bathtub as out.

xo, B